Last fall I emailed my Dad to ask one simple question. How is it that yesterday, I dressed my little girl in a Winnie the Pooh jumper, tights and saddle oxfords. I brushed her corn silk colored hair, and packed her Elmo backpack. We climbed into the car and off we went for her first day of preschool. How is it then, that I woke up this morning and took her to her first day of high school. I don't remember his response exactly, but I think he asked back, how it was that his little girl was now married with three children of her own.
It is now rapidly approaching the end of the school year, which will make her a rising Sophomore. I know that tomorrow morning I will wake up, and dress myself. I will check the air in the tires and the oil, and will check to make sure that everything is bungied into the trunk. I will hand her a piece of paper with all of her emergency numbers. We will climb into the car and head off to take her to college.
For her, these are the days of boys and cars, adventures and new responsibilities, and the excitement of it all. For the adults who love her, these are the days of trying our best to be fair while allowing her freedom, protecting her and praying a lot. Folks we are in uncharted territory. Remember the Jimmy Buffet song "Fins"? "fins to the left, fins to the right". Yep, that pretty much sums up my state of mind.
It has all been stewing throughout the year. Little things here and there. Sleepovers and outings. A few months ago she tried out for her school production of Seussical. She won a part and our early Spring was filled with the sounds of her singing and dancing. I was excited for her and cautiously reminded her to try her best to keep her GPA up. It has been a long time since I have had to remind her to keep up with her homework. I came to the realization a few years ago, that with her, it is better to let set her own goals. She has proven herself time and time again. She sees a challenge, something new to take part in, sets the goal and reaches it all on her own. She went to each and every practice, no matter how long it was or how exhausted she became. She never once complained. During this time, she came home and announced that there would be a cast party. Of course it was after the final performance which made necessary a change in her regular curfew. In an effort to help, or so she thought, she announced that her friends brother was willing to take her and bring her home. It was all I could do to say that there was no chance in the world that she would be going to a High School party, chaperoned or not. She would absolutely not be getting into a car with a teenage driver. Nope, not a chance. In reality, however, she had earned the right to celebrate her accomplishment. She had put in hours and effort. She had kept her grades exactly where they needed to be. She deserved and had earned the chance to prove that she could take this new step and be responsible. I explained that she could go to the party, but as far as details were concerned she would have to allow me time to simmer.
In an effort to be fair and reasonable and even just a little bit to assure that I would not be the only bad guy, I consulted the hubs. "Honey", I began sweetly," There is a party after the last performance, and she wants to go and she wants to ride with a 17 year old boy."
If I had had a mirror in front of my own face, I'm sure my own grimace would have frightened me. Thankfully, my usually strong and well balanced hubby lost all color in his face and looked as if he might fall to the floor, making me feel quite a bit better about my own pained expression. "Um", he stammered," what would Pa do?", referring to my own Dad. He sat for a moment and then stood, reached for the phone and excused himself to find out just what Pa would suggest. As it turns out Pa would have said no, and then broken the poor 17 year old boy's legs so that he couldn't drive(not really but you know). I'm more than sure that more than a few ideas were vollied back and forth during this conversation that I was not privy to. Finally after much contemplation we came up with this. She could ride to the party with the boy and his sister. I would then pick her up at midnight. This seemed fair and reasonable, at least given the situation, and made both sides relatively happy.
Over the next few days we re-discussed the importance of wearing seat belts, making good decisions, and all of the other things that come to the mind of the parents of a sweet beautiful talented girl such as ours. The play went off without a hitch, and received a well deserved standing ovation. All worked out with the party and the ride, and at the end of the night my once little girl and I arrived home, none the worse, and quickly headed in the direction of our beds.
Around the same time of the play try outs, she came home and asked if she could take drivers ed. One side of me was just sure that she had to be 15 before she could take the class the other side of me simply hoped that she would have to be 18 or even 20, if I was really lucky. Sadly, neither side was correct, and so we signed her up. She went each Saturday for 5 weeks, and each time I would pick her up, she would go on and on about how she couldn't wait to get behind the wheel. Once again I was sure that she would have to wait for the Fall. Surely they don't let a 14 year old behind the wheel. Surely not. Please say it isn't so.
This past Monday, I received a text from my sweet punkin' on her bus ride home from school. She had exciting news. I couldn't wait for her to arrive home, not having any idea what the excitement was about. I watched her face as she walked throughout the door, whatever it was it was good.
" Guess what I did today", she asked, and without time for me to ask a single question she blurted," I drove, and I have a new boyfriend".
Do you remember the scene from "Father of the Bride" , where he listens as the little girl with pigtails announces that she has, "Met a man and he is wonderful and brilliant and we're getting married"? Yep that's pretty much how it went down. My precious silken haired girl in her Winnie the pooh jumper and saddle oxfords just announced to me that not only was she a road warrior but there was a boy thrown in for dramatic effect. I tried my best to be excited for her. These are exciting times full of new curves in the road of life. Even as I told her of my excitement for her, my eyes burned with small tears and my heart sank a little.
When my man came home, I decided that it might come better from her, partly because the words were stuck somewhere in my throat. Once again I saw his face go pale. "Do you want me to get your phone and dial Pa for you?", I asked.
These next few years will be packed full of moments like this, I am sure. There will be many prayers, many pale faces, most likely a tear here and there. There will be many more conversations between the men in my life, about whose legs to break. Hopefully she will come through without too many scars on her heart or body. Hopefully we will make it through unscathed as well, because I am pretty sure that a few mornings from now I will wake up and my little girl in tights and a jumper will announce to us that she has met someone wonderful and brilliant and they are about to set off in a wonderful new direction. And not too far after that my beloved will receive a call from her beloved asking curfew advice for their sweet little one.
We will have many more conversations like this on our journey through parenting. I know that it will be different the each time, with each child. Life is truly a journey. There are curves and bends and hills before us. We try to be mindful of the street signs and potholes and we will defiantly be watching out for the 14 year old drivers in the cars with the "student driver" sign on the roof.
It is now rapidly approaching the end of the school year, which will make her a rising Sophomore. I know that tomorrow morning I will wake up, and dress myself. I will check the air in the tires and the oil, and will check to make sure that everything is bungied into the trunk. I will hand her a piece of paper with all of her emergency numbers. We will climb into the car and head off to take her to college.
For her, these are the days of boys and cars, adventures and new responsibilities, and the excitement of it all. For the adults who love her, these are the days of trying our best to be fair while allowing her freedom, protecting her and praying a lot. Folks we are in uncharted territory. Remember the Jimmy Buffet song "Fins"? "fins to the left, fins to the right". Yep, that pretty much sums up my state of mind.
It has all been stewing throughout the year. Little things here and there. Sleepovers and outings. A few months ago she tried out for her school production of Seussical. She won a part and our early Spring was filled with the sounds of her singing and dancing. I was excited for her and cautiously reminded her to try her best to keep her GPA up. It has been a long time since I have had to remind her to keep up with her homework. I came to the realization a few years ago, that with her, it is better to let set her own goals. She has proven herself time and time again. She sees a challenge, something new to take part in, sets the goal and reaches it all on her own. She went to each and every practice, no matter how long it was or how exhausted she became. She never once complained. During this time, she came home and announced that there would be a cast party. Of course it was after the final performance which made necessary a change in her regular curfew. In an effort to help, or so she thought, she announced that her friends brother was willing to take her and bring her home. It was all I could do to say that there was no chance in the world that she would be going to a High School party, chaperoned or not. She would absolutely not be getting into a car with a teenage driver. Nope, not a chance. In reality, however, she had earned the right to celebrate her accomplishment. She had put in hours and effort. She had kept her grades exactly where they needed to be. She deserved and had earned the chance to prove that she could take this new step and be responsible. I explained that she could go to the party, but as far as details were concerned she would have to allow me time to simmer.
In an effort to be fair and reasonable and even just a little bit to assure that I would not be the only bad guy, I consulted the hubs. "Honey", I began sweetly," There is a party after the last performance, and she wants to go and she wants to ride with a 17 year old boy."
If I had had a mirror in front of my own face, I'm sure my own grimace would have frightened me. Thankfully, my usually strong and well balanced hubby lost all color in his face and looked as if he might fall to the floor, making me feel quite a bit better about my own pained expression. "Um", he stammered," what would Pa do?", referring to my own Dad. He sat for a moment and then stood, reached for the phone and excused himself to find out just what Pa would suggest. As it turns out Pa would have said no, and then broken the poor 17 year old boy's legs so that he couldn't drive(not really but you know). I'm more than sure that more than a few ideas were vollied back and forth during this conversation that I was not privy to. Finally after much contemplation we came up with this. She could ride to the party with the boy and his sister. I would then pick her up at midnight. This seemed fair and reasonable, at least given the situation, and made both sides relatively happy.
Over the next few days we re-discussed the importance of wearing seat belts, making good decisions, and all of the other things that come to the mind of the parents of a sweet beautiful talented girl such as ours. The play went off without a hitch, and received a well deserved standing ovation. All worked out with the party and the ride, and at the end of the night my once little girl and I arrived home, none the worse, and quickly headed in the direction of our beds.
Around the same time of the play try outs, she came home and asked if she could take drivers ed. One side of me was just sure that she had to be 15 before she could take the class the other side of me simply hoped that she would have to be 18 or even 20, if I was really lucky. Sadly, neither side was correct, and so we signed her up. She went each Saturday for 5 weeks, and each time I would pick her up, she would go on and on about how she couldn't wait to get behind the wheel. Once again I was sure that she would have to wait for the Fall. Surely they don't let a 14 year old behind the wheel. Surely not. Please say it isn't so.
This past Monday, I received a text from my sweet punkin' on her bus ride home from school. She had exciting news. I couldn't wait for her to arrive home, not having any idea what the excitement was about. I watched her face as she walked throughout the door, whatever it was it was good.
" Guess what I did today", she asked, and without time for me to ask a single question she blurted," I drove, and I have a new boyfriend".
Do you remember the scene from "Father of the Bride" , where he listens as the little girl with pigtails announces that she has, "Met a man and he is wonderful and brilliant and we're getting married"? Yep that's pretty much how it went down. My precious silken haired girl in her Winnie the pooh jumper and saddle oxfords just announced to me that not only was she a road warrior but there was a boy thrown in for dramatic effect. I tried my best to be excited for her. These are exciting times full of new curves in the road of life. Even as I told her of my excitement for her, my eyes burned with small tears and my heart sank a little.
When my man came home, I decided that it might come better from her, partly because the words were stuck somewhere in my throat. Once again I saw his face go pale. "Do you want me to get your phone and dial Pa for you?", I asked.
These next few years will be packed full of moments like this, I am sure. There will be many prayers, many pale faces, most likely a tear here and there. There will be many more conversations between the men in my life, about whose legs to break. Hopefully she will come through without too many scars on her heart or body. Hopefully we will make it through unscathed as well, because I am pretty sure that a few mornings from now I will wake up and my little girl in tights and a jumper will announce to us that she has met someone wonderful and brilliant and they are about to set off in a wonderful new direction. And not too far after that my beloved will receive a call from her beloved asking curfew advice for their sweet little one.
We will have many more conversations like this on our journey through parenting. I know that it will be different the each time, with each child. Life is truly a journey. There are curves and bends and hills before us. We try to be mindful of the street signs and potholes and we will defiantly be watching out for the 14 year old drivers in the cars with the "student driver" sign on the roof.
1 comment:
This post should have come with a warning label. I sit here reading it and wondering myself how time has gotten the better of us all. My firstborn is about to be picked up from his last day of his first year of preschool...Lord, have mercy...
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