What Dreams May Come

As I may have mentioned in my last post, I am not anywhere near what you would call "computer savvy". Four months ago I thought the fact that I could attach pictures to an email was exciting. The farthest I dared venture into cyberspace was to print off the weekly coupon from my favorite craft store. Sounds boring right? Not for me (see earlier post). And so with this latest turning of the leaf, I have finally ventured into these new places and back to some old as well.
In addition to starting my own blog this week, I also ventured into the world of Facebook. My computer savvy daughter has been at me for the longest time to enter this new realm. I, in my age and lack of free time, could only think that if I am on the computer longer than say, the five minutes it takes to download and print said coupon, the laundry would surely grow to reach the ceiling and dinner would not be on the table until the pajamas were on. Also the fact that the thought of seeing classmates from high school gave me immediate hives.
Slowly I crept, in went my name, the name of my high school("Why in the world did they want that?", I thought to myself) finally, I completed the information page and went on, and the most amazing thing happened. People that I used to know started popping up. Up came a name I recognized, and I quickly realized that I should have pulled out the yearbook for this. I knew my best friend from childhood would be there, and just as she did throughout our teenage years, would help me through this new and scary phase. But as I clicked on her to be my "friend"(of course she would be first) another and then another name from my past. And it kept going.
With each new face or name, would come a memory and soon I was transported back into the days of side ponytails and weekly sleepovers. Back to when my friends and I would sit and dream of the life that would come. Would we really marry doctors and lawyers and live on the same street. Would we be rich. Another face, and I was 16, driving and singing to Trisha Yearwood. I still hear those songs and remember exactly what I was wearing the first time these same friends and I went out, with me behind the wheel. The wind through our hair and excited butterflies in our bellies. We thought that we were all grown up. We were the women that we would be forever, and nothing would change it. Nothing would ever hurt, we had no fear. We would go on just as we always had, loved ,well fed, and our worst day would be the day that our bangs wouldn't sit just right. Of course times weren't perfect, there were tears , but mostly from unrequited love or not having just the right thing to wear. Old memories of good times with even better friends.
And then slowly, my mind came back into focus, I was no longer sixteen, but in my thirties, and the dreams of a teenage girl were replaced by new dreams. Dreams, not of who my husband would be or what he might look like, for I am married to my soul mate and I know his face and every expression that comes with it, even with my eyes closed. Now instead of dreaming and giggling with my girlfriends, although we still do every chance we get, I dream with him, about what will come in the future. Will our children be doctors and lawyers? It doesn't matter half as much as whether they are happy and fulfilled. Will they live close, or will we travel to visit? Again, it does not matter because I hold them in my heart and would travel the globe if it gave us time together. And I realized, as I have so many times before, that the life I am living is far better than anything I could have imagined at 16. The love is deeper and more grand.
Who knows what will happen in the future. That is in the Lord's hands. But I am excited to see what dreams may come.